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How to Rebuild Your Life After a Breakdown

By: Ian Murnaghan BSc (hons), MSc - Updated: 29 Sep 2018 | comments*Discuss
 
Rebuild Rebuilding Life Challenge

People who have been diagnosed with depression may find that the challenges of dealing with their symptoms become far too overwhelming and a breakdown occurs. A breakdown is most commonly related to depression although it can occur from any number of mental health conditions. It also usually leaves a person incapable of functioning in any normal manner. Even after the breakdown, if treatment is successful, there is still often the frightening challenge of picking up the pieces of your life that were shattered during the breakdown.

Nervous Breakdown: What Does It Mean and How Does It Happen?

The term 'nervous breakdown' is not actually a clinical one. It is a common term that is used when someone essentially shuts down and is unable to function and cope with the demands of daily life. A breakdown can occur as the end result of months or years of depression or it may follow a significant trauma. For some, it may literally occur without a single identifiable cause, which can make it more shocking and difficult to treat. It is an acute and often incapacitating experience; treatment can also be particularly challenging. If you have suffered from a breakdown and are in the process of rebuilding your life, there are various things you can do to make things less stressful and to help ensure that a breakdown doesn't occur again.

Getting Back Your Confidence

You may feel poorly about yourself after a breakdown and may wonder to yourself: 'How could I let this happen?' It can be challenging to deal with guilt and low self esteem after a breakdown and these feelings of sadness and worthlessness can inevitably lead you back towards a breakdown. Areas you may wish to focus on include:

  • Positive aspects about yourself
  • Qualities that others appreciate in you
  • Activities that bring you joy and self-worth
  • Compliments and praise for each success
  • Kindness and forgiveness when you can't meet a goal

Rebuilding Your Life

Your life encompasses many areas such as work, health, family and friends. Although it may seem simplistic, it can be helpful to make a list of the areas in your life that you feel are damaged and warrant repair. Think about the ones that are most immediate and important and try to address these first. By breaking your life down into smaller, more manageable areas, you will hopefully feel less overwhelmed to address each part.

Mending Relationships

A breakdown can affect various areas of your life, including relationships. One difficult area is communication, because during your breakdown, family and friends may have been confused about your experience. You may have withdrawn from relationships and isolated yourself. Some people find that many friends and family members remained supportive while others pulled away and together, you will need to mend a damaged relationship. Sharing the emotions and struggles you experienced can be helpful in that friends and family are less likely to personally take any uncharacteristic actions you may have shown during your breakdown. It can help to:

  • Communicate your care for that person as a valued individual in your life
  • Talk about what happened and how it affected both of you
  • Share any fears about rebuilding the relationship
  • Renew your commitment to nurturing the relationship

Financial Worries

You may have been unable to work during your breakdown or if you continued to work, you might have found that your work suffered immensely. For some extreme cases, job loss may even have occurred or if leave was unpaid, you could be struggling to cope with the financial challenges of rebuilding your life. It is often helpful to discuss your situation with a financial advisor, who can provide options for approaching debts and various bills that you may be struggling to address.

Other options may be to obtain government assistance, particularly if you do not yet feel well enough to return to full-time work. If you are able to obtain financial support from friends and family members, consider carefully whether you are able to repay the money and if any monetary exchange will negatively impact the relationship. If you continued working during your breakdown and your work quality suffered, it is wise to be honest and open with your boss and colleagues about your breakdown. Certainly it can be difficult to share mental health conditions, particularly with the unfortunate stigma often attached. Most people, however, should appreciate your willingness, drive and effort to move past your breakdown and do your best at work.

Medical Treatment

During your breakdown, you might have been diagnosed with a medical illness such as depression, for example. Alternately, you may have already received a diagnosis for a mental health condition. Your doctor might have prescribed antidepressants or specific medications for anxiety and as such, you may need to remain on medication while you address and 'pick up' various aspects of your life that suffered during your breakdown. If you are feeling better or back to normal, the temptation may be to abruptly stop all medication. This can, however, be potentially disastrous as withdrawal symptoms can occur if you stop medication suddenly and you may trigger another breakdown. Be sure to speak with your doctor about any desire to stop the medication you may be taking and he or she will likely advise a slow reduction in the dose to help prevent withdrawal symptoms and anxiety.

Many people have likened a breakdown to a fall down a deep, dark and lonely hole but once you have hit the bottom and begun your climb, you will hopefully be able to mend the parts of your life that have suffered and you can look forward to each day once again.

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I'm 32 and have had severe depression, insomnia, HF autism and adhd my entire life. I had some help as a teenager after the depression was noticed, but then ran away for 2 years after my first breakdown and never completed full diagnosis. I was then violently raped, so when I saw doctors again, they focused entirely on that and nothing else. I had a high IQ and was expected to be a very high achiever, so I got 2 degrees and tried to have a normal life. I got into tons of debt from uni that got out of hand due to the recession (I couldn't find stable work for a long time). So my 20s were just working, sleeping on sofas or floors and nothing else. When I turned 30 I had finally paid back my last loan but realised I'd lost a decade of my life, hadn't got any friends or a partner, had no idea how to get them, had no home, no savings, no car and no one around to ask for help. I was having delirium and panic attacks at work or at train stations on my commute, as socialising is incredibly difficult and I can't focus or remember things, which annoys people. I was suicidal almost constantly. I went back to the doctor in 2016, but they put me on a 2 year waiting list to see an autism specialist again as most of my problems stem from that and adhd. I haven't been able to work since then, as my concentration and memory is shot to bits, but I don't know how to fix things. I retrained as a programmer as computers are the one thing that calms me, but never got a job from it. Now my mother has been diagnosed with cancer and my family expect me to move back home and be the main carer since I'm not working. I feel guilty saying no, but I need help myself and want to start my own life. My mother is a narcissist and treated me very badly growing up and I can barely tolerate seeing her in public every few months. Living with her 24/7 will kill me. I can't deal with that on top of everything else. My brothers and sister are all married with good jobs, nice homes and planning children. I want the same. I've worked so hard over the years and have nothing to show for it and now I feel as though I'm just being written off because no one will help me rebuild my life.
Sammy - 29-Sep-18 @ 10:41 AM
My husband has been ditching on me since long bt now he is saying that he has chnged himself for our son bt i dont feel so. He is after girls hu r nt at all pretty. I m tryn to please him in every way possible bt dnt dnt why. When he had an affair wd those dumb girls i feel myself inferior to them in feels like m vry ugly. I used to work bt after i got pregnant i left my work. M going through a very difficult phase of my life. I dont want to leave him because my son is very much attached to him bt m totally helpless m really very sad
Md - 29-Jul-18 @ 8:53 PM
My husband hada breakdown 15 years ago. He lost his job and didn't worork for 3 years. During that time he borrowed money to keep us going.For the last 11 years he has been working and we wentbankrupt to pay off thedebts and keep our home. With 9 months left on the bankruptcy he has had another breakdown which he kept to him self. He was warned at workhe wasn'tproductive. He has been on meds for11 years and has a good psychiatrist. He is applying for short term disability. I justhopehe gets it and gets out of this episode. I don't want to lose our home. If he loses his job we can't pay the bankruptcy.I have lost 10 lbs in 2 weeks and haveanxiety which I have to hide at work. I havean appointment withhis doctor for myself in 2 weeks. I am justoverwhelmed at this happening withonly9 monthsto go on the bankruptcy and I can'thelp but be mad at my husband even though I knowhe can't help it. He is bipolar and throughout our marriage we havestruggled with his actions because of it.
Mrs.J - 29-Apr-18 @ 4:17 PM
Last year I had a severe Breakdown . I felt like everything in my life was going great .than our od nowhere I was out of control . I still to this day don’t know how or where things went wrong . I’m still trying to make sense of it all. I became angry with the world and hurt everyone around me. I felt euphoric and on top of the world . Doctors have said I have bipolar and complex PTSD . It’s hard to manage along with borderline personality disorder . I feel so alone and lost a lot of friends and left my partner . I can’t understand how y mental state went so downhill when everything in my life I felt was going so well . Now I’m back at my parents and have depression. Pretty severe . Don’t want to get out of bed or face the world . Scared of life and have panic attacks everyday . Paranoia and worried about the judgements from other people who don’t understand . Feel so alone and feel like I have no one . Is life worth living ? How do I get back up from this hole I feel buried in. Talking positive doesn’t need help . I’m seeing mental health professionals and on antidepressants yet don’t know how I am going to feel or love happy again .
Amanda - 27-Mar-18 @ 3:40 AM
My father molested me and abused my mom. My mom divorced him when I was young. I felt for a long time that everything was my fault. I often overheard my grandma telling other people about my poor mother and how hard it was for her. All I could think is what about me? I lived my childhood always being told I was living in someone else's house and began to truly feel that everyone else mattered more than me. I told myself that if I lived through this I would be rewarded by living happily ever after. I made poor decisions about boyfriends because I really did not understand the playing field and was looking for a white night. After the better part of 10 years in and off with my fist boyfriend and high school and college granulations. I set out in my own. Had a job. Got fired because I have integrity. And could not fully recover from that blow. Have not been able to become gainfully employed for a long period of time since. I have been every cliché in the book since. I'm now married to a wonderful man who has similar problems. He has two beautiful children before me and we have one amazing child together. I recently found out that the industrial plant adjacent to my house that I've been living in for 18 years has left behind 50 or so acres of varying concentrations of hexavalent chromium! Yippee! I'm not sure of anything now. I've sent my well water to be tested. I have a lump in my arm that the doctor said was probably from soap or deodorant. My daughter has lumps in her neck, that the doctor said was probably from a tick. My husband thinks he has Lyme disease but the doctors say no. And did I mention that the toxic dump and been there leaching into the ground since at least 1960 or so. My husband and I both lived here as kids and are now 48 and 44. You do the math. I'm not sure at this point if I know anything other than mental breakdown. I feel as though I'm living a tragic tale that no one feels good about when the story is over. We have plans to move away from here soon I hope that thing will get better for us if we can get away from here.
Tash - 15-Mar-18 @ 12:36 PM
I underwent depression almost 4 years ago. I took up a national test and sadly I wasn't able to pass the test. Back then, I felt really down and bad. My parents were very disappointed to me. They did not comfort me. Same thing with my friends. I felt like they left me all behind. I was on my depression stage for almost two months. Until I felt like I need to move forward and I planned taking the test again so that I could prove everyone that I was not like they were thinking. I felt bad for my life but I was able to recover by talking to myself in front of the mirror. After a year I took the national test again, unfortunately I wasn't able to pass it again. So, here comes depression again. I kept on asking myself what's happening to my life. What did I do wrong? How did this thing happen to me again? Am I really a big failure?. But this time, I learned my lesson. So instead of talking to myself in front of the mirror. I consulted and paid for a guidance counselor. That really helped me a lot. After that my life gets smoothly again.Then just this year, I got a boyfriend, he's my first boyfriend and he knows my ups and downs. He accepted me as a whole but he broke up with me because he couldn't understand me anymore. I felt bad for that and I'm trying my best tomove on but it's really hard. I felt like my depression is coming back. What can I do?Please give me an advice. Thank you.
TheLeftBehind - 28-Dec-17 @ 12:54 PM
I have just finished writing myself through a prolonged period of mental illness and think that I may have come out the other side; beware the false promises of a return to normality. I was a teacher, and that feels like an alcoholic's confession, but I have since pulled myself off the teaching addiction and faced my life and the world around me. This last year whilst writing, Read After Burnout, I have managed to travel back into myself, my past, my present and have ventured into working abroad, into an East Yorkshire coastal town ( the end of the known world), and into a privately owned behavioural unit for young adults. This last place was the closest I have ever come to Dante's Inferno and it is sinful that people make a small fortune from the taxpayer for providing a mere pittance of help or therapy. My daughter has been fighting anorexia and then bulimia and, for a while, I believed that I was responsible for all the ills that befell our family. Somewhere along the way, I started to believe again. These days see me seemingly content. I am trying to stop the drugs, although I suspect that they really do work, as I want to return to some semblance of me. The thing that I came to realise was that ME is not a concrete creation, ME is not a being that existed before my fall, ME is like thought- always changing, always in flux, but with a few essential ingredients the make me recognisable to both myself and others.
Matthew - 20-Jul-17 @ 10:45 AM
Returning To Work After Depression Have had several depressive incidents in the past, both reactive and through steroid side effects. In each case, once on meds have returned to full sense of self with no issues. This time, post a nasty virus (I now have a low immune system) I sank into a deep depression which seemed to mirror extreme side effects of my current med (which had initially been increased to combat said depression). Was weaned off this med over 4 weeks, replacing with previous successful med, building the dose over same period. Am now well enough to have completed week 1 of 4 week phased return to work which I am pleased about. However, unlike previous returns I only feel 75% back to 'normal'. I am working more slowly and hesitantly and although I manage to find solutions I am far more anxious than usual. Most concerning, I do not have the zest for my work which I have always had previously. Can I expect to get this back or should I lower my expectations and learn to view work as a necessary negative like so many of my colleagues past and present? Your experiences welcomed. Mrs P - 9-Jun-17 @ 7:57 PM
Mrs P - 9-Jun-17 @ 8:24 PM
none - Your Question:
I recently have gone through a tough patch. I had depression and really bad anxiety to the point where I couldn't leave the house, I seperated myself from friends and family and lost some, I completely avoided doing any work it was hard. I have seen physicatrist and non of it has helped. My parents got divorced when I was really young and I havent had much to do with my mum but we started getting along really well. (my older sister lives with her btw) I havent really got along with her since I was young, well I dont like h er, I have never understood why she left me but anyway we got in a fight when I was visiting her and it was really bad, I havent spoken to her for a month. I have avoided my sister completely to because she started the fight. So practically I had alot to deal with and I mentally shut down for ages I didnt sleep I constiently wanted to do something but I physically couldnt do it I would just cry. So it got to that stage where I was like I am done, I dont want to be here anymore, no one can hep me, I am never going to overcome it. I still sort of feel this way. Do you think I should contact my mum? Should I tell her how I feel or not? Please HELP!

Our Response:
It might help if you contacted your mum...perhaps write her a note telling her what you're going through. You should also make arrangements to see your GP who will be able to help you with your depression by either direct treatment or in referring you to support groups, counselling, therapy etc
OvercomeDepression - 30-May-17 @ 1:58 PM
I recently have gone through a tough patch. I had depression and really bad anxiety to the point where i couldn't leave the house, i seperated myself from friends and family and lost some, i completely avoided doing any work it was hard. I have seen physicatrist and non of it has helped. My parents got divorced when i was really young and i havent had much to do with my mum but we started getting along really well. (my older sister lives with her btw) i havent really got along with her since i was young, well i dont like h er, i have never understood why she left me but anyway we got in a fight when i was visiting her and it was really bad, i havent spoken to her for a month. I have avoided my sister completely to because she started the fight. So practically i had alot to deal with and i mentally shut down for ages i didnt sleep i constiently wanted to do something but i physically couldnt do it i would just cry. So it got to that stage where i was like i am done, i dont want to be here anymore, no one can hep me, i am never going to overcome it. I still sort of feel this way. Do you think i should contact my mum? Should i tell her how i feel or not? Please HELP!
none - 28-May-17 @ 5:33 AM
i had a breakdown on June last year i dost realise the signs and carried on. i than slot froy husband in a terrible way. tried to contomie as normal but had terrible news about my daughter school aol jade yet another breakdown. thought about suicide and now have ss involved scared i will less my baby girl. none understands keep being signed off work as they sent want me in serious money problems a.d keep making mistakes everyday. Trying to hum on for my baby girl but it is aol black and empty. I habeas ruins mistakes.e and my babies liFe...
jjone - 5-May-17 @ 6:18 PM
A True Survivor! - Your Question:
If I can make it anybody can make it after two nervous breakdowns. I was always over top athlete professional skiing, semi pro hockey, triathlons, etc. enabled me never to dive into a bout of depression. Life is life, and in 2002 my life partner infected me with HIV, I spun out of control into a binge of alcohol and cocaine. Eventually it all catches up to you and I dove into deep depression I get to the point where I can deal with anything and I contemplated suicide. In time I had my first break down and rolled up into a ball and stayed in bed for almost 2 weeks. I know this is gonna sound crazy but I woke up and started another binge again. After three more weeks I had another breakdown, my body was shatter tattered beat up. I felt to 2 inches tall, inbarrresed, dirty, and Surely worthless but I was bound and determined to succeed and rebound from it. I have come to realize that my whole life was One traumatic after the other, actually a set down and wrote a total of 98 traumatic experiences, sounds impossible all true. car accidents, being shot in 1995, drug experience with death , lots of family members passed , physical and sexual abuse, losing my business, One after I after another. just thinking about it made me sick. Long story short, a lot of therapy come to the realization that things happen and you don't have much control over it you just have to live with it and keep going forward and to achieve that goal of happiness. Believe it or not I am happy now, every day I tell myself I am a true survivor, and I give up bid (((((((((hug)))))))))to everyone that is hurting my heart goes out to you! Reach out to people, tell your story people will love you for the individual you are, trust me!

Our Response:
Thanks for sharing this. It should give a few people hope.
OvercomeDepression - 23-Feb-17 @ 10:34 AM
If I can make it anybody can make it after twonervous breakdowns. I was always over top athleteprofessional skiing,semi pro hockey,triathlons, etc. enabled me never to dive into a bout of depression.Life is life, and in 2002 my life partner infected me with HIV, I spun out of controlinto a binge ofalcohol and cocaine.Eventually it all catches up to you and I dove into deep depression I get to the point where I can deal with anythingand I contemplated suicide. In time I had my first break downand rolled up into a ball and stayed in bed for almost 2 weeks.I know this is gonna sound crazy but I woke up and started another binge again. After three more weeks I had another breakdown, my body was shatter tattered beat up.I felt to 2 inches tall, inbarrresed,dirty, and Surely worthless but I was bound and determined to succeedand rebound from it. I have come to realize that my whole life was One traumatic after the other, actually a set down and wrote a total of 98 traumatic experiences,sounds impossible all true.car accidents, being shot in 1995, drug experience with death ,lots of family members passed ,physical and sexual abuse,losing my business,One after I after another ...... just thinking about itmade me sick. Long story short, a lot of therapy come to the realization that things happen and you don't have much control over it you just have to live with it and keepgoing forward and to achieve that goal of happiness. Believe it or not I am happy now, every dayI tell myself I am a true survivor, and I give up bid (((((((((hug)))))))))to everyone that is hurting my heart goes out to you! Reach out to people, tell your story people will love you for the individual you are, trust me!
A True Survivor! - 22-Feb-17 @ 3:50 AM
Bouts of depression through out my life.Anti deps never worked.Have a sob story like everyone and am now in a wheelchair with m.s.The thing is, it's never much to do with what happens to you in life, it's just your mental state and how you cope.I've been fine for ages but I'm not doing well just now.I know it will pass.It just takes so long.I'd love to join an uncomplicated UK chat group for fellow sufferers but the ones I've visited were clearly meant for teens.Thinking about other people rather than yourself helps.Any suggestions?
Ro - 27-Jan-17 @ 5:26 PM
Sunshine - Your Question:
I had a breakdown two years ago through that I lost almost everything dignity included. I was very depressed for many years prior to the breakdown and was using alcohol to deal with the pain I had in my heart. I've lost friends, relationships, jobs, and like I said my dignity. I still get triggers and had one over Christmas just feeling so low and lonely reaching for the biggest demon of mine 'Alcohol' this just made my loneliness more darker and made me feel worthless, however I am now writing this and feeling 50% better than at Christmas I feel more positive and I'm going to look into achieving some goals of mine and staying focused. I know that black cloud does rear its ugly head now and again often when I think of all what I have lost, but today I can actually feel the sunshine.hold on to hope guys and take each day at a time if you have to.my thoughts and prayers are with you all.x

Our Response:
Thank you so much for taking the time to share your thoughts with other readers of this page. We wish you success in your goals, remember...small steps.
OvercomeDepression - 18-Jan-17 @ 1:54 PM
Sorry..me again I would just like to add that the cause of the breakdown was a mixture of failures and my mental health was (I thought) beyond repair. My family have been my rock if I didn't have them I don't know if I would be here today writing this. I am now on medication and like I said TRYING to move forward and rebuild my life and achieve some goals...what I think I'm trying to say is hold on to HOPE Guys you will feel that sunshine even if it's not today....X
Sunshine - 17-Jan-17 @ 11:46 AM
I had a breakdown two years ago through that I lost almost everything dignity included. I was very depressed for many years prior to the breakdown and was using alcohol to deal with the pain I had in my heart. I've lost friends, relationships, jobs, and like I said my dignity. I still get triggers and had one over Christmas just feeling so low and lonely reaching for the biggest demon of mine 'Alcohol' this just made my loneliness more darker and made me feel worthless, however I am now writing this and feeling 50% better than at Christmas I feel more positive and I'm going to look into achieving some goals of mine and staying focused. I know that black cloud does rear its ugly head now and again often when I think of all what I have lost, but today I can actually feel the sunshine...hold on to hope guys and take each day at a time if you have to...my thoughts and prayers are with you all..x
Sunshine - 17-Jan-17 @ 11:24 AM
I've been trying to get my life back now since I lost my niece from hanging her self age 28.. mother of 5.. I've tried taken my life , found three days on the floor by my brother lifeless. Idk how I survived ... I believed it was because of her. I suffered from extreame pyronia ,, put on mental meds from depression and etc.. I did need all of them.. But I stopped all of them my goal and what pushed me was working out.. but the weight gain for the mental meds from the mental hospital from the suicide attempt.. had me gain 20lbs and no motorvation to lift a weight again.. All it made me do was gain another depression and just eat,eat eat eat. Gain gain gain. Stop all meds thought it would stop and help me lose and control my weight but to far gone.. I walk into a gym I leave ... try on all my close nothing fixes .. can't survive on ssi... wanna work but learning disability and insucurity... Wondering is there anyway or program that can help me get my life and spirits back.... I finally except my niece is gone. I'm ready to move on with my life and wanna go to school to better my self ... just don't know any steps and I'm 40 yrs old .. Please help me thankyou sincely yours
None - 2-Jan-17 @ 9:20 PM
I wish there was more help and awarness for depression and other mental health issues. I truely never accepted I had an issue my self, I just always assumed I was different and always felt out of place. Funny because it seems that I fake being well pretty darn good for most of my life. Almost a tuff hard shell, mean while I'm the most sensitive person possible. Good show, while deep inside I felt pain and anguish. At this point so many bad things have happened that I'm not sure where to even start to try to repair myself. Giving up would be such a relief, but I have kids now that depend on me. So the show must go on. I wouldn't want to cause them pain. I have been to many different therapists and also have been on many different medications. They say I'm severely depressed and also have ptsd. My biggest streesors start with. probably my oldest child whom I love dearly, that is very ill by no fault of his own, just lifes tricks and he has been ill for most of his life. I couldn't imagine life without him, yet the wiating part and just watching him get sicker and worse kills me slowly. His fathers death also was a big depressing blow in my life. Then two years after that my only sibling takes ill and dies after 12 days of fighting in the hospital. Bitter sweet that I was there to spend time with him and see him off to the end, but inside I endured the painful traumatic experience of watching my brother go from a 36 year old man to a debilitating 90year old looking man. Last breath and last tear which then ripped my heart in pieces. Thats when I had my break down. Lots more crapy things happened after that. Its been a little over two years since then and battle with myself and my demons. Relief and peace would be great for the pressure. I just want to be somewhat my normal self.
Jai - 15-Oct-16 @ 2:49 AM
Really interestingto read all your experiences, I see now other people have the same situation as me I don't feel quite as helpless even my family don't get it ! So I hope anyone posting sees the value in sharing
Bsc - 16-Aug-16 @ 10:38 AM
This spring it finally caught me. After a horrible divorce with bankruptcy, moving away from everything, my child was almost killed in an accident. We lost his dearest friend.I lasted over five yrs then the accident the breakdown was over a yr later.I have person I met after the divorce who showed me love like I have never known but they suffer with emotional issues and for yrs my heart has been broken.Finally I could no longer take the physical and emotional pain.I live with a friend who cares for me but I am miserable here.I feel like I'm in a black hole.I have no family and no friends.People don't want negativity and sadness around them. I suffer through all this alone.I see no happiness ever for me.I was fired from my job due to the breakdown.I'm a nurse and I am terrified of never working again.Honestly the stress of my job, having no one in my life, nothing to look forward to has pushed me only deeper.Meds help some but anxiety is overwhelming.They say go outside, talk to friends, do what you love.How when you have none of that.I just think I am done.I don't have anything or worse anyone.Going to stores is horrible.Seeing people living life is too much to bear.I can't stand to see how others have happiness and I am filled with nothing.Honestly I think nothing will ever ever change.I'm just so weary
Vitalsign - 28-May-16 @ 12:30 AM
World traveller - Your Question:
I have recently realised that I have had a nervous breakdown and probably have been , I have been suffering in silence for a long time. I am so relieved that it is all in the open now and whilst admitting it at work caused me to lose my job,(I told my employer and rather than being supportive they gave me 6 weeks to turn things around. This caused even more pressure and resulted in a full nervous breakdown, I was still in my probationary period and therefore had very few rights and can not claim cronstructive dismissal) my family and friends have been really supportive.I am now starting to struggle with guilt. I have lost my well paying job and do not want to go back to work again in an executive role, in fact I can not see myself ever doing anything more than part time work in the future.I was always regarded by family and friends as being bullet proof and generous to a fault now I need to look after myself. Everyone is being very kind but two things worry me. The first is that I keep hearing family and friends say that they have had this too and got over it. But they are all back leading pretty much identical lives. By implication they are telling me to suck it up and get over it.The second is this feeling of guilt I still have for putting myself first. I have put everyone else in front of me for so long and trained myself not to do it. I see this not as a breakdown but as an opportunity to change things. I feel that I could pretty easily get back on track, get a job I do not like and last a few more years before I crack again but I desparately do not want to do that. How do I over come these feeling of guilt and need to recover today?

Our Response:
This is a common situation. You're being very sensible and realistic in examining the possible root causes of the breakdown. If addressing the issues practically, keeps you "breakdown-free" and happier then it does make sense. Sit down and make a list of what would make you happy and plan a route towards achieving it. Of course, there will be things that you will have to consider that might not make the list - such as having a job and the need to provide for yourself/family financially etc, but you can plan ways that this might be possible too. Check out some of the many great organisations/charities dealing with breakdowns and mental health issues for some really good help and advice.
OvercomeDepression - 27-May-16 @ 12:11 PM
I have recently realised that I have had a nervous breakdown and probably have been , I have been suffering in silence for a long time. I am so relieved that it is all in the open now and whilst admitting it at work caused me to lose my job,(I told my employer and rather than being supportive they gave me 6 weeks to turn things around. This caused even more pressure and resulted in a full nervous breakdown, I was still in my probationary period and therefore had very few rights and can not claim cronstructive dismissal) my family and friends have been really supportive. I am now starting to struggle with guilt. I have lost my well paying job and do not want to go back to work again in an executive role, in fact I can not see myself ever doing anything more than part time work in the future. I was always regarded by family and friends as being bullet proof and generous to a fault now I need to look after myself. Everyone is being very kind but two things worry me. The first is that I keep hearing family and friends say that they have had this too and got over it. But they are all back leading pretty much identical lives. By implication they are telling me to suck it up and get over it. The second is this feeling of guilt I still have for putting myself first. I have put everyone else in front of me for so long and trained myself not to do it. I see this not as a breakdown but as an opportunity to change things. I feel that I could pretty easily get back on track, get a job I do not like and last a few more years before I crack again but I desparately do not want to do that. How do I over come these feeling of guilt and need to recover today?
World traveller - 26-May-16 @ 10:02 AM
I am 20 years Old. I started suffering from depression when I was 13/14 years Old. I self harmed, I cried every night, I wanted to be alone, I didn't feel like I was good enough to fit in, I wanted to be like everyone else, even though I had my own character and soul somewhere. I never knew why I started having really low periods in my teenage years, I thought that it was adapting to high school and growing up and finding yourself, but when that was 7 years ago and it has only seemed to have gotten worse you doubt all the reasons you found as to why you are like this. To this day, I have no job (I quit 3 weeks ago) I thought I was low then, but now I can't even see a way forward. I have bad anxiety but I'm confident at the same time. I've been trying to be strong for as long as I can remember and now I've created my own character out of myself. I don't even know who I am. I say things and I think instantly after 'why would I say that?' I have the deepest and lonliest thoughts everyday and inside I'm screaming for help but the outside is nothing. Definitely somebody I don't know. I desire and pine to get away, to travel, 'to find myself again' and I know I'm going to get there one day, I just don't know how to cope now and every day until.
Emma - 30-Mar-16 @ 4:36 PM
The hardest thing about sever depression are the effects of what actions influenced by depression has done to my family and friends. Sadly over the years I have seen many broken friendships and relationships develop as a result of my depression. I went to get checked 10 years ago for a minor case I had to which I was given some medications and told if I felt better in 30 days I should be alright. Biggest mistake I made was believing I was ok. I was not. And now in the last 10 years my actions, my sadness, my outbursts and my tantrums that all have been caused by depression have reached heights unbearable to any individual that has left me alone and upset and ashamed with myself and others think I am extremely dramatic and vindictive and have a cruel nasty heart when I have really been crying for help. I have reached out to a few to explain what was going on but a vast majority of them did not understand what depression was or meant and I instead have had to deal with finding a way out on my own. So many friendships I wish I could repair or fix and I can't now - and so many times I would be outcasted or treated differently since early childhood. It has hurt me to the core my entire life and I sometimes do feel I am all alone in this world. There have been times I cut myself and have wanted to harm myself - but I have been hurt so much by so many when I was growing up that I honestly have been led to believe I will be hurt in the end so I might as well do the hurting back now. I am constantly doubting myself and will admit I have bad low self-esteem issues. I look at myself in the mirror and see a fat ugly monster with facial issues and has so many flaws and I feel that has led me to have this negative mindset that has hurt me for so long. I wish I could look different and just get a second chance to live in someone else's body because this one I have sucks and I gave up so much - lost a great job, lost my car, had to move back with my parents, and I just feel like I have no light at the end of the tunnel. I cry almost every single day.
S.R. - 14-Jan-16 @ 1:28 AM
I found it difficult to make a new friend. But whosoever make me his or her own best friend never regret.this really affecting my emotions to wooing a lady. Because they believed that if I can't open my mouth and say I love you. I have not started. ..but those who one way or other become my girlfriend enjoyed a lots more from me. I always feel like giving them what they wanted without attachments.sometime thefriendship go deeply like brother and sister. .now to woo any one.has no meaning to me.to avoid insult. .recently one told me that .when I tried to make sure that I love her.but she turned me down telling me that you are just like elder brother to me.
KingCyrus - 31-Dec-15 @ 8:06 PM
@Jen: I feel the same way. I feel that quit the job I had because I couldn't cope should have given me the opportunity to get well again. Instead I'm left feeling sad, lonely and incapable of picking myself up. I've tried so hard and in so many different ways and still I'm as broken as I was when I had to give up my great job and the life I had then. I wish I could answer your question but all I can do is say that you're not alone in your grief.
Pretty sad - 15-Dec-15 @ 10:17 AM
I had a "breakdown" about 6weeks ago. Although I have taken positive steps to change my life and keep on going. I'm trying to mend my relationships but I'm finding it very difficult. Im the eldest of 6 siblings and have been my moms crutch for most of my life (she's a single parent). The problem is they seem to think that my "breakdown" is a personal attack on them and don't understand that I need to rebuild my life and figure out what I want. Has anyone had a similar situation? Any advice? X
Loralamb89 - 29-Sep-15 @ 6:05 PM
Taximan - Your Question:
HiI had a breakdown 15 years ago was put on prozac 60mg that got me back to normallity but during that time I self medicated with drink and drugs and became an addict/alcoholic now im 7 half years clean I decided to take up fitness running etc and again self medicated on my prozac 60mg one day 20mg 4 days later anyway 2 months of that and yep another breakdown!Im back on 60mg of prozac and thats started to kick in I feel tired and lethargic at times and the moods up n down I dont like as well as intrusive thoughts/feelings!Iv gone back to work but im trying to get back to basics grattitude for the things I do have etc!Breakdown is hard especially on family friends when they havnt seen you like this for a long time!I spose I just haveto accept that during my life I may have a couple more episodes ofdepression ocd anxiety! Anyway good luck to everyoneX

Our Response:
Thanks for telling us about how you've coped and we hope you manage to continue to cope, despite the side effects.
OvercomeDepression - 28-Aug-15 @ 11:20 AM
Hi I had a breakdown 15 years ago was put on prozac 60mg that got me back to normallity but during that time i self medicated with drink and drugs and became an addict/alcoholic now im 7 half years clean i decided to take up fitness running etc and again self medicated on my prozac 60mg one day 20mg 4 days later anyway 2 months of that and yep another breakdown! Im back on 60mg of prozac and thats started to kick in i feel tired and lethargic at times and the moods up n down i dont like as well as intrusive thoughts/feelings! Iv gone back to work but im trying to get back to basics grattitude for the things i do have etc! Breakdown is hard especially on family friends when they havnt seen you like this for a long time! I spose i just haveto accept that during my life i may have a couple more episodes ofdepression ocd anxiety! Anyway good luck to everyone X
Taximan - 27-Aug-15 @ 1:02 PM
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