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Depression After an Abortion

By: Ian Murnaghan BSc (hons), MSc - Updated: 14 May 2017 | comments*Discuss
 
Depression Abortion Doctor Alone Risk

Making the decision to have an abortion can be difficult for some women while others find it a very clear and obvious choice for their specific situation. Yet, it is difficult to predict just how a woman will react to an abortion.

Even if she initially felt secure in her choice, she can still experience feelings of depression after an abortion. A smaller number of women will ultimately experience clinical depression, although within the medical community, abortion is not generally considered a cause of depression. However, this is a debated aspect of both abortion and depression.

Understanding Feelings After an Abortion

While some women report that they feel relieved after an abortion, others will struggle with sadness, guilt, anger, shame and regret. There are some circumstances that could predispose a woman to feelings of distress and depression after an abortion, although there is no clear way to predict how each woman will experience and handle her abortion.

With a woman's hormones rapidly changing back to her pre-pregnancy state, she may find that this chemical change makes her more prone to sadness. In this instance, the feelings of depression will tend to eventually pass, particularly as her hormones begin to stabilise after the abortion.

Some women who are very sensitive to the media may experience feelings of depression because they are told that they are 'evil' or 'wrong' for having the abortion. Unfortunately, this is a very real effect that can occur due to anti-abortion activists. Women who were pressured to have the abortion are also more likely to experience feelings of depression after the abortion. They will feel particularly bad because they did not want the abortion at all and they may experience heightened feelings of sadness.

Your Support Network

Women who have a weak support network or perhaps none at all are more likely to experience feelings of depression after an abortion. They may feel alone, isolated and afraid as they experience feelings they are unfamiliar with after the abortion. Women who have busy, stressful lives may also find that they experience great sadness and distress after the abortion. It is important for a woman to allow herself time to heal, physically and emotionally, which may mean taking some time off from school or work.

What is Normal?

While it is normal to feel emotional and experience some of the symptoms of depression – such as sadness – after an abortion, most women will recover. However, a small number of women will find that these feelings are sustained or they become more pronounced. These women may go on to develop clinical depression.

If you find that your feelings are so overwhelming that you can't seem to cope, particularly when a great deal of time has passed since your abortion, you should make an appointment to see a medical professional. You may find that counselling is helpful or your doctor may also want to put you on a short course of antidepressant therapy.

If you have previously suffered from depression, you will be at a higher risk of suffering from depression after an abortion. It will be important to take additional measures to obtain counselling and support from friends or family.

Nurturing Yourself After an Abortion

For most women, giving yourself permission to experience and express sadness and other feelings after your abortion can help you to heal. Try not to be too hard on yourself. Instead, respect and accept that you made the best decision you could under the circumstances. It is important for you to have faith that you are a good person who made a very difficult decision.

Some women also find that writing their feelings in a journal can be helpful, particularly if they don't feel comfortable speaking to someone about the experience. Sometimes, just reading about the experiences of other women who have been through an abortion can validate a woman's own feelings of depression and anxiety. It can also help you to feel less alone when you know that other women have experienced similar feelings after an abortion.

Moving Forward

Ultimately, you need to take time out to heal but try to stay aware of your feelings and see a doctor if they persist and prevent you from coping with life. With some self-care and support, most women can move past their abortion and look forward to a positive future.

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I had an abortion about two months ago. It kills me even more knowing that Mother's Day is soon to be here. I would l have been 24 weeks this month and it kills me. I loved the father but during our relationship he cheated and got someone else pregnant at the time I was willing to work through everything and so was he but the constant reminder of an innocent child being brought into a world of inconsistency really affected me. I never really wanted the abortion but was pressured by the father because we weren't ready. But I regret it everyday and everytime I see a baby or mom.
buddhabae - 14-May-17 @ 12:27 AM
I fell pregnant at 16 (im now 17) i found out about 2 weeks before christmas, unsure and scared i told my mum after only knowing for a day and the desision to have a termination was forced upon me. I wasnt sure what i was going to do but what i really didnt want to do was what i ended up doing. I lost a great deal of people last year who meant so much to me i saw the baby as a healing process and i hate myself more and more each day for being so stupid and let my mother strip away all my control. Now 4 months on i'm broken and quite frankly i'm trumatised everything reminds me of either the pregnancy, or the termination i'm stuck in a constant cycle it just gets worse and worse
Izzy - 12-Apr-17 @ 4:45 PM
I m about to dissolve my marriage and I can't keep the baby so being 5 weeks pregnant I opted for medical abortion. Tough decision as I have always wanted my own child. My soon to be ex husband wanted to trap me in this relationship with the baby. I wish he was like the way he posed to be when we were getting married and I wish I could keep my baby.
Afad - 10-Apr-17 @ 10:18 PM
Mabel - Your Question:
I had a abortion a week ago, my husband wanted to keep the baby , I wasn't so sure.it was a big shock for both of us , since we had 2 grown kids!!. I left one morning and drove to a abortion clinic and had a medical abortion and called my husband he was so hurt. biggest mistake of my life !!! I don't know what to do

Our Response:
You really need to talk this through with your husband. It's very common to have regrets as you will see from the comments below, but there's really no way you can change what's done. List the reasons you thought that an abortion would be a good idea and think about positive things you can do with those reasons from now on.There are lots of support groups and organisations (also mentioned below) and it's good idea to get in touch so you have someone detached from the situation to talk to.
OvercomeDepression - 29-Mar-17 @ 12:10 PM
I had a abortion a week ago, my husband wanted to keep the baby , I wasn't so sure .it was a big shock for both of us , since we had 2 grown kids!!. I left one morning and drove to a abortion clinic and had a medical abortion and called my husband he was so hurt ... biggest mistake of my life !!! I don't know what to do
Mabel - 27-Mar-17 @ 6:42 PM
sarah cleaver - Your Question:
I'm struggling with guilt over having a termination on Wednesday five days ago. This was a mistake that was totally took me by surprise.feeling guilty for making this choice I have too get back too normal life has I took time out from work.I'm wondering why I'm feeling sick and in pain most of the time is this normal

Our Response:
You shouldn't really be feeling in much pain and sick after 5 days. It might be worth a trip to your doctor.
OvercomeDepression - 22-Mar-17 @ 12:56 PM
anonymousmama - Your Question:
I had an abortion on Wednesday the 15th of March I was 18 weeks pregnant and it's not something I wanted to do but everyone else kept telling me it's for the best 3 children will be hard. after my surgery I was Broken just had no support from family or my other half after I have cried myself to sleep for the last 2 nights my partner didn't even ask me how I feel I'm depress3d and scared to go Dr's incase I lose my 2 children my heart hurts I'm totally damaged

Our Response:
Please do try and find someone who you can talk to about this. You will find that others have similar experiences and can share how they've coped etc. Your GP might be a good place to start, they will know of local support groups and counselling services. Also try:
Crossways post abortion support
The Arch Trust
Or call the British Pregnancy Advisory Service on 03457 30 40 30 (or +44 1789 508 211)who can arrange post abortion counselling for you
OvercomeDepression - 20-Mar-17 @ 12:04 PM
I'm struggling with guilt over having a termination on Wednesday five days ago. This was a mistake that was totally took me by surprise .feeling guilty for making this choice I have too get back too normal life has I took time out from work .I'm wondering why I'm feeling sick and in pain most of the time is this normal
sarah cleaver - 19-Mar-17 @ 5:11 PM
I had an abortion on Wednesday the 15th of March I was 18 weeks pregnant and it's not something I wanted to do but everyone else kept telling me it's for the best 3 children will be hard. after my surgery I was Broken just had no support from family or my other half after I have cried myself to sleep for the last 2 nights my partner didn't even ask me how I feel I'm depress3d and scared to go Dr's incase I lose my 2 children my heart hurts I'm totally damaged
anonymousmama - 17-Mar-17 @ 2:50 PM
I found out I was pregnant in the summer of 2014, my first child was a year and a half at the time... after I went through with the abortion it changed me, I'm not sure how to explain it in ways that anyone can understand cause everyone's story is different from the next.. but I'm sure whoever reads this will have some way to relate.. as sad as that is... I never believed in abortions, but when it turns out that " you " are the one pregnant and know that you just can't do it, :( it's the hardest thing to accept... so it's been a couple years now since I went through with it, and not a day has gone by that I don't think about the "what if's" what my life would be like, What my second child would be ( boy/girl ) and what they would look like... I hate myself for doing it even though I really wasn't in the right place at the time, and with everything I had gone through with my first child's biological father I just did not have the heart to be burned so badly again and raising two children from two separate fathers on my own. I have always wanted to have 2-3 kids one day.. but now I feel like I don't deserve to have another one... I get baby fever and then just guilt as fast as I think about having another child... how am I supposed to forgive myself...? How can I accept having another baby now after choosing to terminate what would have been my second...? I am fighting such inner turmoil, but all the guilt, regret, and all the pain I have been through is winning.. I just can't seem to get myself to go through with getting pregnant again. Oh and to top it off because my family is religious and they all knew I was pregnant I had to lie and say I lost the baby and was going in for surgery so I wouldn't get an infection... it kills me every day I talk to them because I know I am holding this deep dark secret and I know that if I was to tell the truth I would be disowned... ugh.. so I push things deep deep down pretend I'm fine and that everything will be alright and try not to think about it even though my better half talks about more kids all the time and I want more too I just can't explain it well enough to him where I am at, cause honestly I don't even know.. I feel like a tornado, just all over the place, a massive wreck and indecent human.:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(Simple explantion what everyone is thinking "depression" but let me say depression could very well be true, I don't show it.. I just wish someone could tell me how to be able to be comfortable with having another child again.. for it to be a happy and exciting chapter rather then terrifying, guilty, and sad. How do I get back to me? How do I move forward and let my heart fall in love with another beautiful baby, when all I feel like I should feel is punishment and to just be happy and grateful with the child I have (don't get me wrong I love my kiddo to pieces!!!) which I think makes it worse because I know I have the love to give.. grrr just super angry with myself that I h
Anonymous - 13-Mar-17 @ 6:11 AM
Danni - Your Question:
I'm 16 and had sex wit has someone I knew for a short period of time. I didn't know I was pregnant till 3 months after when I started getting systems and I taken a test and showed I was pregnant. Ithe was my dream to become pregnant I love children and get along with them, but I have watched my mum be a single parent and I know it's not easy :( so when I told my mum she wasn't happy with me so I thought having an abortion would be best for us all.I never wanted it from the start but I just thought it would be for the best but now I have this empty feeling and sadness and I just want to cry but I can't :( I just need to talk to someone but no one knows not even family and my old bestmate hates me.I'm just finding the pain so hard

Our Response:
Please try some of the organisations mentioned in responses to comments below. Talking to someone about it directly will help. Take care.
OvercomeDepression - 3-Mar-17 @ 2:46 PM
I'm 16 and had sex wit has someone I knew for a short period of time. I didn't know I was pregnant till 3 months after when I started getting systems and i taken a test and showed I was pregnant. Ithe was my dream to become pregnant I love children and get along with them, but I have watched my mum be a single parent and I know it's not easy :( so when I told my mum she wasn't happy with me so I thought having an abortion would be best for us all..I never wanted it from the start but I just thought it would be for the best but now I have this empty feeling and sadness and I just want to cry but I can't :( I just need to talk to someone but no one knows not even family and my old bestmate hates me...I'm just finding the pain so hard
Danni - 1-Mar-17 @ 11:29 PM
Izzy - Your Question:
Im 23 and I feel exactly the same, the feeling that I'll never truly get over my abortion.I was in a very controlling, toxic relationship when I fell pregnant. At first we were really happy but I soon started to feel trapped and my ex got more controlling and nasty. He was extremely unsupportive and I felt like I had the worst decision to make. I eventually decided an abortion would be for the best, partly because I knew the relationship was a bad one but also because I felt pressured by him. I found the experience very traumatic and emotional but of course he didn't seem to understand and even started an argument once I got home from hospital!I had an abortion at 8 weeks, it is something I never thought I'd have to go through or deal with. I have ok days and bad days. There is always like an empty pit which I wish would just disappear. It's not something you can speak about openly. My mum and close friends know but I hate talking about it, I guess because it makes it feel more real? Me and my ex broke up a few months after which I know is a good thing but I am finding the break up really hard. It's been very on and off, we both struggle to let go. We went through a lot during our relationship and I suppose it's all just very sad. With him being such an emotionally abusive person and going through such a traumatic experience I feel like my self esteem has just disappeared and I am a very anxious person now.Any advice on what to do and how to cope?x

Our Response:
Talking about it is a great step forward. We hope that just by writing this you have already made some moves towards feeling better about yourself. If you can't talk to your friends, then do seek out some internet forums or local groups near you, where you can talk to others who've been in similar positions. You'll know by reading some of these comments, that there are lots of people who have struggled like you are at the moment. There are also organisations that can help such as:
Crossways Post Abortion support
Arch Trust
British Pregnancy Advisory Service on 03457 30 40 30 (or +44 1789 508 211) can arrange post abortion counselling for you
Do also look after youself, keep socialising with friends, do some daily exercise such as a brisk outdoor walk, a dance class, gym, bike ride, swim etc. Take care, we're thinking of you and everyone else who's taken the time to post below.
OvercomeDepression - 24-Feb-17 @ 12:11 PM
Im 23 and I feel exactly the same, the feeling that I'll never truly get over my abortion. I was in a very controlling, toxic relationship when I fell pregnant. At first we were really happy but I soon started to feel trapped and my ex got more controlling and nasty. He was extremely unsupportive and I felt like I had the worst decision to make. I eventually decided an abortion would be for the best, partly because I knew the relationship was a bad one but also because I felt pressured by him. I found the experience very traumatic and emotional but of course he didn't seem to understand and even started an argument once I got home from hospital! I had an abortion at 8 weeks, it is something I never thought I'd have to go through or deal with. I have ok days and bad days. There is always like an empty pit which I wish would just disappear. It's not something you can speak about openly. My mum and close friends know but I hate talking about it, I guess because it makes it feel more real? Me and my ex broke up a few months after which I know is a good thing but i am finding the break up really hard. It's been very on and off, we both struggle to let go. We went through a lot during our relationship and I suppose it's all just very sad. With him being such an emotionally abusive person and going through such a traumatic experience I feel like my self esteem has just disappeared and I am a very anxious person now. Any advice on what to do and how to cope?x
Izzy - 21-Feb-17 @ 11:05 PM
I recentlyhad my abortionit beena week .it been so hard dealing with reality i hate myselfso much the reality that i couldn't keep my firstchild is just to much.
Nicky - 18-Feb-17 @ 8:33 PM
I ended up having an abortion at 7 weeks because I wasn't with the guy and even though we agreed to try he was very controling and in the end i got told the baby could have high risks of never walking. I went through with the first medical termination and it failed. I had to go for a scan and see the baby (one of the hardest things i have ever done) so i asked if there was possibility of it having even more higher risk due to me taking the whole course of tablets and sadly there was. So i went through the medical procedure for the second time further along (10 weeks 4 days) because of the complications and i see my baby with toes and fingers and arms and legs fully developed and it destroyed me! But i knew it was for the best! I just wish i never ended up in that situation!
Anonymous - 15-Feb-17 @ 9:27 PM
Hi I had an abortion about 4 years ago, and I just can't get over it, I want my baby back, it's the biggest regret of my life, I didn't find out until I was 4 months gone and only had about 2 weeks to decide, my partner pressured me into it, I had no support, I think about her every day, I am so depressed, I fell disgusted with myself, I feel evil, I hate myself for what I have done, I wish I could turn back time, I can't see myself ever getting over this
Neen - 28-Jan-17 @ 12:14 AM
Hi, I had my abortion a month ago on New Year's Eve, I'm 18 years old and didn't realise I could conseave as I was on the pill for 2-3 years and then went on to get the merina coil. The wan at the doctors never did a pregnancy test before the coil insertion and I found out I was pregnant after going to the hospital with a water infection, then to find I was 10 weeks and 6 days along and the coil had inserted itself in the sac with my baby. Me and my partner where told there would be a high risk of still birth or having a servely disabled child, we would have loved to keep it but there was too much risk to me and the baby. I end up having random uncontrollable crying I'm always angry with my partner and sometimes get dreams of the baby I had to give birth to.
Em - 22-Jan-17 @ 11:53 PM
I had an abortion in June I was 6 weeksand as I look back today I think about the reason I chooses to go through with it because I could have made it work. I remember the day after the abortion I laid in bed and cried saying what have I done, god please give me a redo. I have my moments some days are good and some days are bad. This one would have been my 3rd child and I regret my decision everyday. I can't talk about it to my husband because well really he can't turn back the clock. Also I don't think he will understand the empty space I feel and I can't talk to other family members because I didn't tell them I was pregnant and going for an abortion. I cry and wish I can have my baby back that God will give me a second chance to make it right. That day I lost something and didn't realize how much I wanted it until it was to late. That day part of my self died to. I fake a smile and push the hurt down just so people think I'm OK so I can keep my secret from coming out.
Myfakesmile - 11-Jan-17 @ 3:45 PM
I had termination 4 years ago still haven't got over it still cry time to time I still cry it was a hard decision I ever did my ex made me have one and that we're not together anymore and it hurts like yesterday and a death anniversary is the 5th of December for me and I was 30 years old when I have a termination been 4 years ago
Hazel - 1-Dec-16 @ 9:49 PM
Hey, so i had an abortion 4 months ago through no choice of mine i felt pressure to go ahead with the abortion because of the condition i suffered with i worried that i would harm our baby. I told my sister but she wasnt very supportive. And my mum i told just before the op as i was scared what she would say. I really feel empty and alone most of the time. Although my partner great and is always therefore me i still feel lost. Its like i go a few days not crying then one thing triggers it and i cant stop. After the abortion i didnt have any time off because i had just started a new job. Any advise or support would be great
Lish - 10-Nov-16 @ 9:58 PM
i found out I was pregnant while I was at work. I remember feeling numb for weeks afterwards and I was in such severe denial that I didn't even think about what I wanted to do with it. I was 16wks along when I finally told my boyfriend, and we both decided it would be best to have an abortion seeing as we're both in college and nowhere near financially or emotionally prepared to raise a child. I was 20wks along when I finally had the money to have the procedure done, and it's been three weeks since it happened. On the SAME DAY as my abortion, however, my cousin back home was having her baby. She went into labor the same time I was being led to the operating room. I didn't think that would effect anything at all, but the day after, my mum wanted us to visit her in the hospital and say "hi" to the new baby. It took everything I had not to break down the moment I saw her. They put her in my arms and I immediately felt this overwhelming sense of guilt because I knew that while she was bringing her beautiful daughter into the world, I was paying someone to get rid of mine. I've had nightmares every night since. The same one, actually. I'll close my eyes and I'll be right back on that table, feeling the surgeon pulling my baby apart from inside, awake, but not quite conscious. I struggle to even get out of bed in the morning, I've become so depressed. I know it'll get better eventually, and my boyfriend and I do still want kids in the future, but I don't think I'll ever be able to forget what I've done.
Laura - 6-Nov-16 @ 5:04 PM
i had an abortion two months ago. I found out i was pregnant at 4 weeks i was pretty shock because i was on the pill but was very excited . When i told my partner he was in shock and told me we couldn't keep the baby ...due to my new job,looking for an apartment at that time and we both have no family the country we live in. i was determined to keep my baby,i went to my gyn and saw my baby and heard the heartbeat (which i hear everyday ). At7 weeks i started vomiting at work. i couldn't call out at work because i just got fulltime. After constant debating i decided to do the procedure because of the situations i was against. After that day i felt like i haven't been the same . I feel so sad , everyday i hear my baby heartbeat, i can't help but look at the ultrasound, i see people with their bellies, my friends inviting me to their baby showers. I feel so EMPTY! after the procedure i was screaming asking where is my baby. i have been trying very hard not to cry. i don't speak about it with my partner because apart of him feels bad. He thinks I'm okay but I'm not . Thursday was the first time i cried since the procedure. i had a choice and apart of me regrets . i miss talking to my stomach every morning . i really don't speak to anyone about it. Nobody knows how i feel .
nat13 - 10-Oct-16 @ 3:26 AM
Sophie- Your Question:
I didn't think I could get pregnant, then I did. With a guy I knew since been 15, as soon as I told him I'm he didn't want it, and tbh neither did I, but I was completely shocked. I was so poorly and I was only 5 week throughout it, it took me 2 weeks to decide what to do, one day I did want r the next I didn't. Deep down I know I didn't. The guy was all about straight up not having it, he said he'd come to the clinic he didn't, instead I went to the first one with a friend, the second appt on my own. On the way there I was involved in a accident, it made me think, that I still wasn't ready to protect a baby when I couldn't protect myself. My mum knows and she supported me, so do my close friends. It's been 7 week since it happened, some days are good, but like today some are really bad, I looked at other kids and people and baby's and just think why are you here and what give me right to get rid of it. Deep down I know I made the right decision, but day to day life is getting hard, I don't know if I'll truly ever get over it, also doesn't help that I have anxiety and depression before all this happened.

Our Response:
Thanks for sharing your experiences Sophie. A big hug for you, take each day as it comes.
OvercomeDepression - 16-Sep-16 @ 1:01 PM
I didn't think I could get pregnant, then I did. With a guy I knew since been 15,as soon as I told him I'm he didn't want it, and tbh neither did I, but I was completely shocked. I was so poorly and I was only 5 week throughout it, it took me 2 weeks to decide what to do, one day I did want r the next I didn't. Deep down I know I didn't. The guy was all about straight up not having it, he said he'd come to the clinic he didn't, instead I went to the first one with a friend, the second appt on my own. On the way there I was involved in a accident, it made me think, that I still wasn't ready to protect a baby when I couldn't protect myself. My mum knows and she supported me, so do my close friends. It's been 7 week since it happened, some days are good, but like today some are really bad, I looked at other kids and people and baby's and just think why are you here and what give me right to get rid of it. Deep down I know I made the right decision, but day to day life is getting hard, I don't know if I'll truly ever get over it, also doesn't help that I have anxiety and depression before all this happened.
Sophie - 15-Sep-16 @ 1:16 PM
kazzy- Your Question:
I've just had an abortion I'm 42 I was 9 weeks and I want my baby back I made the worst decision of my life and I scream out to wish I could turn back time the dad didn't want to know I had no help my kids are grown up with their own lives my mum has cancer I'm in no relationship and I wldnt have much money to live on to give it the life I wanted I didn't want to do it but I thought I made the right choice I hate myself I miss the feeling inside of knowingit was there and now I feel empty Your mommy wants you back I want to wake up from this nightmare please

Our Response:
Oh Kazzy, we feel for you. Take each day at a time for now and try not to think of the "what if" scenarios. You will feel better if you can talk to someone about this; an experienced counsellor or someone else who's been in your situation. Below are some avenues to try. Take care of yourself, we're thinking of you:
Crossways - post abortion support information
Arch Trust - Abortion Recovery Care and Helpline
Call the British Pregnancy Advisory Service on 03457 30 40 30 (or +44 1789 508 211) to arrange post abortion counselling.
There may also be groups in your area where you can talk directly to others who've had similar experiences Citizens' Advice may have a list of these, or try an internet search on post abortion support plus your location.
OvercomeDepression - 13-Sep-16 @ 12:56 PM
Hello, I had my abortion in January of this year, I am 21 years old and didn't know where to turn to. When I found out I was pregnant I cried, and was full of mixed emotions one moment I was happy and the next I was sad and crying. The father (my boyfriend)is an asylum seeker in Germany and I am in the UK so there was no way of him helping and coming here. My mother is also ill and has lupus and she didn't want me to have my baby as she wanted me to continue doing my degree. I am a only child too, so don't know much about caring for a baby.So I felt there was no help around for me. I really wanted my baby. And I cry most nights and feel like I am an evil person. I don't know if I made the right decision. I am so hurt and upset all the time. It feels good writing on here and to know I am not alone. I always imagine what my baby would of looked like and whose personality he or she would have had. I can't seem to stop thinking about it.
Lellie - 12-Sep-16 @ 9:23 PM
I've just had an abortion I'm 42 I was 9 weeks and I want my baby back I made the worst decision of my life and I scream out to wish I could turn back time the dad didn't want to know I had no help my kids are grown up with their own lives my mum has cancer I'm in no relationship and I wldnt have much money to live on to give it the life I wanted I didn't want to do it but I thought I made the right choice I hate myself I miss the feeling inside of knowingit was there and now I feel empty Your mommy wants you back I want to wake up from this nightmare please
kazzy - 11-Sep-16 @ 11:24 PM
I had my first abortion at 17 it was late about 22 weeks and the dr said it would have been twins The following year I had a baby that died at 3 months old I had 2 more abortionsafter this as I had no Supportfrom my relationship. Now in my mid forties I have been through the guilt and sadness I will never Have a child and anger at the choices I felt compelled to make
Bsc - 16-Aug-16 @ 10:57 AM
LS33 - Your Question:
Hello. Iv never done anything like this before. But feel I need to express how I feel. I was 32 ( only a year ago)when I became pregnant. I also felt happy and very shocked. It was not planned but I have always wanted children and never had been pregnant before (not even close). my bf of 3 years who I'm still with was " not ready to be a dad" my mom also wasn't up for the idea. In fact the family members I did tell it seemed the most ridiculous idea for me to have a baby. ( which was the most shocking thing for me given my age) so.I thurt I was doing the best thing by everyone (no stress)and trusted my mom had her best interests for me. I decided to have an abortion at 8 weeks. The whole experience was unforgettable and was shared with both my mother and my bf their for I can only guess support and recovery. This was the day I changed as a person. The pain I deal with daily is killing me still to this day. And does not seem to go away. Its my only regret so far in life. I also wish I could go back and choice option 1) and keeping my baby. Everybody involved choses to never discuss this with me. I have tried to express how I feel and the effect its still having on my life. But it is soon swept under the carpet. Another thing which has changed is my relationship with my family. I can't seem to forgive them for making me feel disgusting for becoming pregnant and the sheer shock of the very thought of me being a mother. Nowadays consist of limited visits and watching my mom celebrating the birth of everyone else's children with big smiles. And my bf now going on lads holidays all very excited. I think I got the short straw. I ask for forgiveness everyday from my baby who I never met. ? a very dark place. Its life changing just the wrong change. Peace and love to you all.

Our Response:
Sending you a big virtual hug and hoping the resources we've included below and in our article will be of some use.
OvercomeDepression - 15-Jul-16 @ 12:09 PM
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    I fell pregnant at 16 (im now 17) i found out about 2 weeks before christmas, unsure and scared i told my mum after only knowing…
    12 April 2017
  • Afad
    Re: Depression After an Abortion
    I m about to dissolve my marriage and I can't keep the baby so being 5 weeks pregnant I opted for medical abortion. Tough decision…
    10 April 2017
  • OvercomeDepression
    Re: Depression After an Abortion
    Mabel - Your Question:I had a abortion a week ago, my husband wanted to keep the baby , I wasn't so sure.it was a big shock for…
    29 March 2017
  • Mabel
    Re: Depression After an Abortion
    I had a abortion a week ago, my husband wanted to keep the baby , I wasn't so sure .it was a big shock for both of us , since we…
    27 March 2017
  • OvercomeDepression
    Re: Depression After an Abortion
    sarah cleaver - Your Question:I'm struggling with guilt over having a termination on Wednesday five days ago. This was a mistake…
    22 March 2017
  • OvercomeDepression
    Re: Depression After an Abortion
    anonymousmama - Your Question:I had an abortion on Wednesday the 15th of March I was 18 weeks pregnant and it's not something I…
    20 March 2017
  • sarah cleaver
    Re: Depression After an Abortion
    I'm struggling with guilt over having a termination on Wednesday five days ago. This was a mistake that was totally took me by…
    19 March 2017
  • anonymousmama
    Re: Depression After an Abortion
    I had an abortion on Wednesday the 15th of March I was 18 weeks pregnant and it's not something I wanted to do but everyone else…
    17 March 2017
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